McGoo's Meanderings

Several months ago I had the opportunity to pick up a beautiful bouquet of flowers for $3.00. (a florist occupies the space next to me and I get first shot at their mistakes and orders not picked up.) I in turn gave the flowers to a dear friend. She was enthralled with the bouquet, and stated “oh, you shouldn’t have.” A statement which forms the basis for this posting. My immediate reply was that to not have done so would have been akin to being in a catatonic trance. I further reasoned that anytime anyone can make someone as happy as that bouquet did her for three dollars it would be criminal not to. Enter the concept of what has become known as “The Three Dollar Bouquet” way of life. Which clearly stated is an opportunity to make someone happy at a minimum cost or effort. In my case, something as little as an email from a loved one totally transforms my day. A kind word, a gentle touch are other examples of the Three Dollar Bouquet. I challenge everybody to give a Three Dollar Bouquet to someone daily. You will find the world will be a nicer place to be .

Having spent a lot of my life running from my true feelings I feel as if I am somewhat of an authority on it. The easiest thing to do is to walk away from a situation we are not comfortable with for what-ever reason. That can also be the hardest thing we do. Running away is not the answer. The things we want to run from are often the things that mean the most to us. Running away should not be confused with Breaking Away. Running away is denying a situation, whereas Breaking Away is accepting the reality of a situation and being proactive and taking the measures required to start a life anew, a breath of fresh air if you will. While one is wallowing in the quagmire called life we often need to step back and reevaluate where we are and where we are going and where we would actually like to go. Often having the fortitude to Break Away is the greatest thing we can do for our self. Realize that while major decisions may shock others we must also realize that they will get over it, we must remember that at a point in our life out first commitment in life needs to be to ourselves. In the end life goes on, hopefully it is spent happy doing what we want with who we want.

Standing out in a cookie cutter world is a difficult task at best. Unlike flowers which stand on their own, often the true beauty in a person must be found in the heart and soul of the person. A gracious and giving heart combined with a soul to match is a combination that no physical attributes can measure up to. The heart and soul are real and run deep, whereas looks alone are shallow and meaningless. Unfortunately in today’s world it is not uncommon to overlook the heart and soul and go for the physical attributes instead. How sad.

A while ago, while working on a vocabulary listing for an art class a dear friend of mine was taking I started to draw parallels between art and life. It dawned on me that we are each an artist on our own, as brilliant as Leonardo da Vinci or as bizarre as Vincent Van Gogh toward the end of his life. At birth we are a fresh primed canvas waiting to become a masterpiece… or a total disaster, for the most part the choice is ours. Out pallet rests within our soul, and our brushes reside in our heart. We have the tools; it is up to us how we use them. Like many masterpieces of art, we are capable of being reworked many times till we get it right. We seldom get it right the first attempt, mandating that we stick with it till we figure it out. It is when we give up on our canvas that we become just another piece of obscure art gathering dust in a desolate corner. However when we have the tenacity to re-work our canvas repeatedly until we get it right we will be worthy of being hung in the Louvre. You see, the choice is really ours, dusty corner or museum masterpiece. Our pallet never runs dry, and our brushes remain eternally supple, we just need to be willing to use them.

It is amazing the similarities between the three. In each, one can make investments hoping for a reasonable return. In the stock market the investment is money, and fortunes are made and lost. In life and love the investment is time and emotion, neither of which can ever be replaced. The greater the love the greater the investment, often bringing one to the point of emotional bankruptcy.

The wise financial investor realizes that the market fluctuates, sometimes drastically, and it is often prudent to hang in there even when things are going badly as it will return to a favorable profile given time, it is just being brave enough to stick it out. The investor in life and love is in much the same situation, only there is a lot more at stake, as unlike money, one can never get the time and spent emotion back if it goes totally sour. The survival strategy for either is basically the same, be tough, enjoy the good times, buckle up during the down times, be committed and tenacious enough to stick it out if need be, and most important, knowing when to cut and run if necessary to prevent total disaster.

Unfortunately it is a lot easier to walk away from a financial investment than an investment of the heart, for there will always be that question hovering,  “what if I hadn’t given up.”

Sometimes it is the little things in life that could easily go unnoticed that mean the most. A smile, a touch, an embrace, a kind word.

Although seemingly insignificant they can make all the difference in the world to one who needs them.

It is a good idea to go out of your way to be nice to others, as we are all fighting battles of a sort.

Humans are indeed very complex strange creatures.

Heaven and Hell

There are those who will tell you that Hell is here on earth in  the daily existence of life. My heart is out to them, as with that rational one must conclude the only  alternative to a better existence is death, a concept I find it hard to buy into.

I believe that both Heaven and Hell  exist  here on earth, with the choice being ours which one we spend the majority of our time in. I say “majority” as we all tend to drift between the two, contingent on where our lives are at any given moment. It is up to us to manage and control our lives to insure we spend the maximum amount of time in whichever we prefer. It is within the ability of each person to make the decision where to spend their time, it takes resolve, fortitude, and tenacity, but it can be done.

I also believe that if there is a life after death that we will spend it where we have chosen to spend our mortal life. Back to the scripture, the passage “Ye shall reap that which ye have sewn” sort of sums those feelings up pretty well.

I have my own commandments which are being put into writing collectively for the first time as I pen this:

The only person you have to make happy and answer to is yourself

Realize that everyone else thinks they know what is best for you, have your own mind; live your own dream, everyone else will fall in line, if they don’t they may not be worth it in the first place

Try to hurt no one in the process of quenching your thirst for life

Live well

Work hard

Be fair to others

The heart and mind are like parachutes, they only work when open.

Embrace your enemies for you never know who you will eventually love

If you feel you are right, stand your ground at any cost,

                        You don’t lose until you quit

Work, live, and love fully, as the track of life is only so long.

Try to insure that your list of things you wanted to do is very small when you die. You can only do that by spending as much time as possible doing what you want today.

Control what I call the three major motivators in humanity:  Greed,  Fear,  and Sloth. These three factors have changed the history of mankind for the worse since the beginning of time.

Try replacing the above motivators with:  Giving,  Kindness, Compassion, and Love. If you succeed you will have a much richer and happier life. Just beware,  many people will question your motives as these qualities are very foreign to most.

Enjoy as many moments as you can for you only have so many of them. In the process try to enrich the lives of others, for then all mankind wins.

Do not fall victim to sloth, if you see potential for greatness force it to develop at any cost, for it is in short supply in these times.

Always remember, if you say “I can’t” you are probably right! Nothing has ever been attained by quitting. Life is full of speed bumps, recognize them and approach carefully, but don’t turn around or take a detour because of life’s obstacles, for that is the best way to get nowhere

Remember, entropy causes things to go to hell when left to their own. The only things in life that improve are those we take charge of and make better. Bad situations don’t heal, they must be fixed.     

I truly try to live my life by these guidelines, and while I don’t always succeed I do always try. Unfortunately I have not embraced these ideals for long, for I lived on the dark side for a lot of my life and that is too bad; for now at an advanced stage in life I find myself but a fledgling in life as it should be. Sometimes I find myself being clumsy in the pursuit of love and happiness, I have pretty well mastered the motivators of Giving, Kindness, and Compassion, but I realize I am still a neophyte in and a little clumsy with love and interpersonal relationships. That I feel is a result of limited exposure to them. I do know I will eventually get it under control, as I am not giving up on myself any more than I do anyone else I care for.

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While sometimes a little ragged around the edges, a closer look may well expose an inner radiant glow that transcends all else. In order to see what is really there, one’s eyes must be open.

 Although possible to stand alone there will always be something missing.

© Ron Dahle  2007

Once having discovered true beauty the world will never be be quite the same.  Be careful where you tread as it may change your life forever.