McGoo's Meanderings

Spread Your Wings  ©2007  Ron Dahle

When I looked at the caller ID on the phone and got that tingly feeling all over I realized that, which I have been trying so hard to deny for a while, was indeed a fact… I am in love. Actually, I have known it since the day I met her but tried my best to deny it.  Deep down inside I think she realizes this to, as I am fairly transparent when it comes to some matters.

Due to the age difference I fully realize that nothing will ever come of this, and I am as comfortable with that as I can be.

What is important, is that the void in my soul that wants to love someone is filled. I truly believe that everyone needs to be in love with someone. The fact that I have fallen in love with a person that is not in love with me and never will be, is something I am cool with. One can only expect so much in a lifetime.

There is a lot more to being in love than sex, or intimacy. Love is a condition, a state of being that lifts and rejuvenates ones soul.

Ironically we are in the process of forming a friendship that, with luck will endure, and that is all I can ask or expect. I know many married couples who are not now , nor have they ever been friends. Their relationships are based on the superficial aspects of life.

In the waning years of my life I feel that to be able to have the feelings I do for this person is a true blessing. If it were to end tomorrow, while I would be saddened,  I would also be comforted knowing that for a period of time there was someone I was (and likely still would be) willing to move mountains for, and ask or expect nothing in return.

If you ever find yourself in this position, don’t be sad, don’t fight or deny it; instead cherish it and savor every moment, for moments like this come along way too seldom in one’s life.

The old fool McGoo  says goodbye till the next time.

As the cards of Love and Life are dealt it is often surprising to many that this is one game where a natural pair trumps all and wins.

Several months ago I had the opportunity to pick up a beautiful bouquet of flowers for $3.00. (a florist occupies the space next to me and I get first shot at their mistakes and orders not picked up.) I in turn gave the flowers to a dear friend. She was enthralled with the bouquet, and stated “oh, you shouldn’t have.” A statement which forms the basis for this posting. My immediate reply was that to not have done so would have been akin to being in a catatonic trance. I further reasoned that anytime anyone can make someone as happy as that bouquet did her for three dollars it would be criminal not to. Enter the concept of what has become known as “The Three Dollar Bouquet” way of life. Which clearly stated is an opportunity to make someone happy at a minimum cost or effort. In my case, something as little as an email from a loved one totally transforms my day. A kind word, a gentle touch are other examples of the Three Dollar Bouquet. I challenge everybody to give a Three Dollar Bouquet to someone daily. You will find the world will be a nicer place to be .

Having spent a lot of my life running from my true feelings I feel as if I am somewhat of an authority on it. The easiest thing to do is to walk away from a situation we are not comfortable with for what-ever reason. That can also be the hardest thing we do. Running away is not the answer. The things we want to run from are often the things that mean the most to us. Running away should not be confused with Breaking Away. Running away is denying a situation, whereas Breaking Away is accepting the reality of a situation and being proactive and taking the measures required to start a life anew, a breath of fresh air if you will. While one is wallowing in the quagmire called life we often need to step back and reevaluate where we are and where we are going and where we would actually like to go. Often having the fortitude to Break Away is the greatest thing we can do for our self. Realize that while major decisions may shock others we must also realize that they will get over it, we must remember that at a point in our life out first commitment in life needs to be to ourselves. In the end life goes on, hopefully it is spent happy doing what we want with who we want.

Standing out in a cookie cutter world is a difficult task at best. Unlike flowers which stand on their own, often the true beauty in a person must be found in the heart and soul of the person. A gracious and giving heart combined with a soul to match is a combination that no physical attributes can measure up to. The heart and soul are real and run deep, whereas looks alone are shallow and meaningless. Unfortunately in today’s world it is not uncommon to overlook the heart and soul and go for the physical attributes instead. How sad.

A while ago, while working on a vocabulary listing for an art class a dear friend of mine was taking I started to draw parallels between art and life. It dawned on me that we are each an artist on our own, as brilliant as Leonardo da Vinci or as bizarre as Vincent Van Gogh toward the end of his life. At birth we are a fresh primed canvas waiting to become a masterpiece… or a total disaster, for the most part the choice is ours. Out pallet rests within our soul, and our brushes reside in our heart. We have the tools; it is up to us how we use them. Like many masterpieces of art, we are capable of being reworked many times till we get it right. We seldom get it right the first attempt, mandating that we stick with it till we figure it out. It is when we give up on our canvas that we become just another piece of obscure art gathering dust in a desolate corner. However when we have the tenacity to re-work our canvas repeatedly until we get it right we will be worthy of being hung in the Louvre. You see, the choice is really ours, dusty corner or museum masterpiece. Our pallet never runs dry, and our brushes remain eternally supple, we just need to be willing to use them.

It is amazing the similarities between the three. In each, one can make investments hoping for a reasonable return. In the stock market the investment is money, and fortunes are made and lost. In life and love the investment is time and emotion, neither of which can ever be replaced. The greater the love the greater the investment, often bringing one to the point of emotional bankruptcy.

The wise financial investor realizes that the market fluctuates, sometimes drastically, and it is often prudent to hang in there even when things are going badly as it will return to a favorable profile given time, it is just being brave enough to stick it out. The investor in life and love is in much the same situation, only there is a lot more at stake, as unlike money, one can never get the time and spent emotion back if it goes totally sour. The survival strategy for either is basically the same, be tough, enjoy the good times, buckle up during the down times, be committed and tenacious enough to stick it out if need be, and most important, knowing when to cut and run if necessary to prevent total disaster.

Unfortunately it is a lot easier to walk away from a financial investment than an investment of the heart, for there will always be that question hovering,  “what if I hadn’t given up.”